And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold. Look out, Itchy! He’s Irish! Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Duffless

But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds… Oh, I’ve wasted my life. Thank you, steal again. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city! Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.

• Save me, Jeebus.
• I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.
• Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three « Highlander » movies.

The Last Temptation of Homer

I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children. Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king! Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that’s a *really* useful invention!